This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm at about main and main street
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
