just come out here and I will go home with you...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
