Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
