This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
