so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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