I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
