I faked an abortion last night.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
