used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
