I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All the doctor said was why
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
