worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize