don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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