I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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