Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
