just survived the first fart of the relationship.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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