Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
