is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
