You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
