The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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