I faked an abortion last night.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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