Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I understand Curling. That high.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
