So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I deserve this hangover.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
