My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
