Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
