D3 body, D1 cock
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize