thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
too bad you live with your parents still
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
