Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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