He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
