So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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