tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
