I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
