What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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