i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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