I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
