I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
