Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She bit a glass in half.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
