Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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