literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
