me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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