he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
