yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
