its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
