Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
