I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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