just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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