Jerry, you need to find god
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm like, not good at living.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
