btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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