Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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