so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
