I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
