i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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