Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
