Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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