I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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