My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
