he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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