just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
