I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do you still have your period?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
