Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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