I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
