what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
