i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
