You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
