Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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