when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
