oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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